he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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