In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have aggressive nipples.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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