My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize