I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
