there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
