why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She's not a foreskin expert like you
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
