Welp...herpes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
