I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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