She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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