My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
