Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
