Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
