I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize