I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
