So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
