Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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