I wannas sexs uuuuu
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
