Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
