i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
