So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize