I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
