I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
