But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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