You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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