I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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