I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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