no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
