if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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