I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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