Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
