i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
