I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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