Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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