im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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