I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
