We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
