i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
