Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish you could order shots online.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
