Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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