Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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