I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
