how can u be prego again
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
