quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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