Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
