i permit you to call me
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
