Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
