all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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