This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she peed on how many people?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
