Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
