Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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