The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
