Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize