Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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