omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
