The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
